More Coffee, Please

Given my recent ramblings on girls in high school, it seems proper to look at some of the problems facing young men. In many ways, they’re far worse.

If the problem for girls is they buy into the system we’ve set up for them—being content to be girls and nothing more—than the problem for most of the men I know is they feel superfluous.¹ Those things they naturally can do well are no longer valued. Violence in any form is rarely tolerated inside a school, even if it’s only talked about (I think many of my boys like my classroom for the sole reason I hunt—many of my girls will detest it for the same reason) and there’s no joy in the martial spirit. Many men I know will complain about the “woosification” of America, and they may not be wrong. When I look at what was acceptable behavior for me growing up (cops and robbers was the highlight of my childhood) and then listen to kids who tell me mom and dad won’t let them have a squirt gun, I have to suppose there’s been a devaluation of “masculine” skills and abilities.

Combine that general, pervasive sense in the classroom with the events of the work-force—a place where strong shoulders and back are no longer enough to gain employment sufficient to guarantee a successful life. Those skills which are required are often not the ones which come quickly and easy to men, and the classroom is not a great place for boys because of it. It’s often too slow, too tame, and not discussing those things they want to know.

Often, I think it’s too safe.

In this neat little article, the author argues we learn more by failure than success. Personally, I think American classrooms are too safe. We carefully scaffold challenges so almost everyone who tries will succeed. But really, are we doing anyone a favor?

Especially for boys, who need to prove they are men², this “easy” classroom design in no way helps them develop a vision of themselves as capable adults. No wonder more boys will find more enjoyment on the athletic field than in the classroom.

It has disastrous effects elsewhere, especially on discipline. Boys are 2.5 times more likely to be suspended from school, and more than 3 times more likely to be expelled. In addition, they’re more likely to have learning disabilities, visual and hearing impairment, and multiple disabilities. In the end, 25% fewer men go onto college, 38% less likely to get a Master’s degree, and 8% less likely to get a doctorate degree.

Boys in high school are 5.5 times more likely to kill themselves. ³

To some extent, I think I would be more than willing to see education separated by gender, as I think both would benefit. However, I know it won’t ever happen. We should design a classroom where challenge is upfront and acceptable, and failure is another chance to learn. At the same time, we need to provide boys opportunities to be men (without diminishing women!) and not be afraid to design a school where we incorporate the ideas of integrity and honor as the ideals we wish to pass on as the real measures of masculinity.

Males need role models more than ever before, and in a world where they increasingly find those skills which come easily marginalized and less necessary than in the days of the past, we need to work to provide them. I’ve been pushing for this in my own department, which is incredibly dominated by women. We actually had parents come to us and complain about the books we read as not offering anything to boys, especially for summer reading. I can’t say I disagree. A quick look at the tenth grade canon:

Silas Marner (Old man adopts young girl, finds redemption. Girls love it, boys hate it.)
Much Ado About Nothing (Romantic comedy, but Shakespeare. Half point for girls.)
Julius Caesar (Political assassination, but Shakespeare. Half point for boys.)
Where the Heart Is (No comment. Thanks to Natalie Portman, boys like the movie, but is that what we want to encourage?)
Antigone (Teenage girl stands up to the man. Girl power Sophocles style. Girl point.)
Of Mice and Men (Firm win for boys. This is a favorite. What about the rabbits, George?)

That’s in no way inclusive, and only reflects what I can recall from my three years teaching tenth grade. Still, I count it 3.5 points for the girls, and 1.5 points for the boys. This is in addition to a subject area which spends much of its time discussing poetry and books—very manly subjects to the average American male.

Throw in the panic over every hint of violence and we have an area where boys are not going to do well. At least my high school had the good sense to allow a championship target shooter who later went to the US Naval Academy to include a yearbook photo of himself in his shooting garb. We haven’t fallen off the rocker yet.

1 Frighteningly, they may be. Howard Bloom in The Lucifer Principle summed it up well: “There’s reason to believe that males are becoming more disposable in modern American society than ever before. The age of information is upon us. One one hundred years ago, the vast majority of Americans eked out a living by physical labor. That was true even as late as the 1940s. By 1956 it had changed. For the first time, the majority of US workers did no physical labor at all. Most men and women had moved from factories to offices, where they pushed paper, made decisions, held long meetings, read reports, and placed phone calls. Their job was gathering information, weighing it, and spreading it to each other.

“In the mid 1800s when the railroads were built, John Henry was a mighty man who drove cold steel through the heart of a mountain, making his hammer ring. Joanna Henry would have had a much harder time of it. In the information age, men no longer have the edge. Women’s brains are every bit as quick as men’s.

“Men were disturbingly expendable in the ara of the Arab propped up by his spear. But today they are more disposable than ever…”

2 I often joke that a woman gets a monthly reminder she is a woman. Boys don’t. Throughout history, we’ve constructed rituals and practices to introduce boys to the world of men. The Jewish B’nai Mitzvah is a well known example. However, we don’t have anything like it in American culture, and boys prove their masculinity in ways we wish they wouldn’t—taking risks, fighting, and engaging in sexual behavior.

3 I originally found this data, and the inspiration for this post, from The Boys Project. I’m shamelessly reprinting the material as it’s important.

Gregarious

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