More Coffee, Please

So we already know I’m not a huge fan of prom. I’m even less a fan when I see in it the evidence we’ve failed to instill some basic ideas of civility and manners in our kids.

The problem may be they look like they ought to know better. They look like adults, and so there’s this small part that dares to hope, “Wow…maybe we did it. Look at these young…dare I say it…adults here. Wow. Maybe we did okay.”

Then there’ll be the first problem.

Granted, I will admit having all the lights, all the music, and all the power cut out is an issue. I will admit there are many adults who would not act well in similar circumstances. However, I guess that’s my point; as a society, we’ve become rather monstrous in what we will accept as behavior in public.¹

At the same time, I can’t help but be appalled at the chanting that erupted when the lights went out. “Juniors suck!” was my favorite, given this was a junior-senior prom. What a wonderful way to treat half the population in the room.

Or there was “Refund!” I like that one. Given the vast amount of time members of the junior class spend planning and raising funds for the prom—and offer tickets with no intent to make a profit or to do anything more than break even—it seems a little crude to be demanding a refund. Throw in the fact many members who were so vehement in their cursing probably never helped the school in any volunteer capacity at all, and it seems especially presumptuous.

More than anything, it’s the failure to instill a sense of responsibility. We lose the right to complain when we don’t participate, and this group of students is the most apathetic I’ve seen.² Still, that didn’t stop them from becoming rude, selfish little monsters within a few seconds of something less than their dream of perfection.

I think we need to make people responsible for what they create. At the start of next year, I plan on sitting down with all my classes and discussing what a student is required to do—and it’s not just handing in homework. There’s an attitude that should be present, and I think we can evoke it if we communicate about why we’re doing what we’re doing, when we’re up-front and clear about what we want, and if we map out how to get there.

That’s the hope, anyway. I do know it’s a problem when sophomores come up to me the next day and are appalled at the way the seniors were acting. On the other hand, at least things went well enough that I can complain about their lack of manners and not their lack of brains in driving. Thanks Lord. One more answered prayer I owe You.

1 This same evening, I stepped out of my home with my wife and a car load of young men—and I’m using the term loosely—drove by, one of them shouting out an exceptionally rude remark. It was only the fear of escalation—of this turning into more than a few words—that prevented me from approaching the car. The kids in the vehicle were not far from my high school students, and it’s a problem that we allow people to go into the world who will act in such a way.

2 If the community thinks its attitude towards education is not picked up by the students, then they are sadly mistaken. They know what is valued, what isn’t, and what is demanded of them.

Gregarious

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